i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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