Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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