wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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