You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
