I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
