I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
