He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
