So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
