you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
