i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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