i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
