i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I supernannyed him into submission
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
