With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
