ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
