Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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