How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Randomize
