The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
