I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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