all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
