I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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