my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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