i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
