brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I think a kid would responsible me up
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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