u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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