How's work?
Spinning.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
