My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
