if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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