We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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