Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
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