Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
