HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
