Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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