you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
