Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
