ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
