what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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