32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
