Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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