I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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