there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
