I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
