The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
