i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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