OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
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