What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
barbara walters just said penis...
either way he was missing a nipple.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
