omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
