dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
