I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
