im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
