you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
