All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
