Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
