Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
